Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
