I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
