Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
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...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
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How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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