it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
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