So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
