you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
