I don't get it.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
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You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
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we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.