she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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