I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize