New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize