Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
