I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
