whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
