Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize