I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
