bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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