You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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