I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
