i think i have herpe
just one?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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