Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
