The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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