Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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