I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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