she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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