Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
