There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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