Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
