I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
