therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
