oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Randomize
