Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
