we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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