i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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