I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
