Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
