watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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