More tranny stories later!
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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