Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
whose parrot is this?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
