Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
