At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
