The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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