At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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