girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Randomize
