its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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