Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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