Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize