This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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