I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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