The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
