I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
