I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
