party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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