how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You are a genius and a whore.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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