I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
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with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
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True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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