How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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