I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
