Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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