I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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