do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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